If that was your dad, he is hot
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
