I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
