Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
