Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
