Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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