my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
