just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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