would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
