he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
