So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
