genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
