I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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