He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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