So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
that is very illegal...i love you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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