I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
