im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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