i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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