How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
