problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
