Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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