Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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