She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So many bounce houses so little time
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
we should paint friendship bongs
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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