once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
