Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
