did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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