she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
