I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
