Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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