She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
