the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize