pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
