You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
