i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
