Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
