this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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