ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my phone needs a breathalizer
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Randomize
