mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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