why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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