I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I have aggressive nipples.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
