road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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