I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
