I heard we made out
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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