Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
