I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
