You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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