Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
