He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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