I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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