Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize