After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
