I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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