i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
