No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Also, beer. Big fan.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
