id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
