if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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