hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Less talking, more tequila
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
