Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
