Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
