He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
