oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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