Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
